Mental Health

I don’t know about you but I’m a bit tired of hearing the word “unprecedented” this year. It’s been the most difficult year in generations except for those of us old enough to vaguely remember the sixties. It may help you to remember that life comes and goes in seasons. Some years are wonderful, and everything seems to be going your way. Other years just plain suck. Some years Christmas is wonderful, and other years Christmas is hard.

Social media and society can pressure us to feel like we should be smiley, merry and bright during this most magical time of year. We might feel that we’re supposed to be filled with joy throughout December no matter what’s going on around us. We hide our pain and sorrow so that nobody knows. After all, we don’t want to ruin the holidays for our loved ones.

It’s okay to feel sad around the holidays. There’s nothing wrong with you. If you’re struggling with sickness, bills, or the loss of a loved one it’s normal and healthy to feel sad. There’s a feeling of being on the outside looking in that is tough to fill. And when you do find yourself smiling, you might feel just a bit guilty.

With all of the lockdowns going on, maybe your business is struggling or you lost your job, and you won’t be able to give your kids the gifts they’ve been dreaming about. Maybe your relationship suddenly fell apart and you’re still trying to figure what happened. There’s so many things that can take the joy out of Christmas. Just remember, that it’s okay to feel your feelings.

TV shows and movies often send a message that our troubles should magically disappear on Christmas. But we find ourselves still grieving, broke and even feeling lost. Life was never meant to be perfect. On the contrary, it can be messy, complicated, and sad.

Here’s some of my best mom advice for when you’re having a tough time over the holidays.

• Don’t allow yourself to be pressured to be in a good mood.
• Don’t expect your sadness and grief to suddenly go away.
• Get through the holidays as best you can, one day at a time.
• Do your best for the little ones in your life, and then go and have a good cry if you need to. Fell what you need to to get through this time.
• Practical radical soul care. And remember, things will begin to look up and happier days are ahead. Think back on the good times in your life and know that things will get better for you again.

Getting Through the Holidays With Simplicity

Have you ever considered simplifying Christmas? Imagine a holiday season without the stress, without the mess, without spending a small fortune on decorations, events, and gifts. Think about celebrating a much simpler Christmas this year. By getting back to basics and focusing on the more spiritual side of this holiday, you’ll probably find more joy this season. And you’ll also find that when you focus on simplicity, you’ll have more time to savor everything this special time of the year has to offer.

Look back on Christmases past. It’s very possible that the memories that you remember the most were the ones where your family didn’t have a lot of money for decorations, expensive gifts and non-stop parties.  If your family is anything like mine, the ones we remember are the years when we had little. I remember making snowflakes out of construction paper (and sometimes watching the real ones) and baking Christmas cookies. The gifts weren’t expensive, but were often more meaningful and homemade. Those are the Christmases that will become treasured memories.

Since chronic illness entered my life ten years ago, I try to keep Christmas simple. I have a couple of trees up and the mantle decorated. The house is less cluttered and come January, it will be much easier to clean up and put away.

With quarantine restrictions, many people’s calendars look lighter this year. Choose a couple of favorite activities and events that you’ll enjoy. Plan to spend the rest of the time doing quiet things around the house. Read up about hygge and look for ways to incorporate it into your life. I hope you give a simpler Christmas a try this year and see if you find it calmer and more meaningful.

How to Make Christmas Less Stressful

Start with managing your expectations. We all have our visions of the perfect holiday season, but if we set our sights too high, reality can feel like a cold slap in the face. Try to let go of any perfectionist tendencies and learn to accept things the way they are. Focus on enjoying this lovely season just the way it is this year.

Remember that it won’t matter to your children, spouse, siblings, or grandkids how perfectly you wrapped their gifts. What matters is that you chose something meaningful just for them. Don’t spend hours upon hours getting the tree decorated just right if it stresses you out, or if you’re just not up to it this year. If you enjoy this activity, then go for it but if not, you might turn on some Christmas music, get the kids, and have fun decorating the house. Then pile everyone in the car with some hot chocolate and go look for Christmas lights.

If your cookies flopped, they probably still taste good. Homemade ornaments with “mistakes” are still charming and will become treasured possessions. Don’t worry about matching everything on the tree or your table. An eclectic style will reflect you, your family history and help you to remember Christmases of the past.

Remember that we all go through tough seasons. Some Christmases may be lot more challenging than others (Hello 2020…). Maybe there was a death in your family. Maybe you lost your job right before Christmas. Maybe the water heater broke at the most inopportune time and decimated your anticipated Christmas budget. It happens to everyone and while there are thousands of things that could happen that could potentially ruin Christmas, how you react to any of them is up to you.

Some years, you simply make the best of it and move on in good faith that better days are coming.Do what you can to give your loved ones a sweet Christmas, and chances are doing so will help cheer you up as well, no matter how big the challenges you’re facing this year. Many times it’s these unusual Christmases that will stand out and matter most to you and your family.

2020 has been a doozy of a year. If you’re struggling with your mental health right now, you are not alone. Stress and anxiety about Covid-19, quarantine, the economy and civil unrest can be overwhelming for anyone. Lockdown and quarantine gets isolating and depressing. Information and social media overload, trying to figure out what is truth and what are rumors and misinformation can cause us to experience stress, anxiety, fear and depression. Learning self care strategies to support your mental health is key to coping with your emotions during a crisis.

When you’re going through uncertain times, it’s easy to let your emotions take over. Uncertainty can lead to intense emotions that can be difficult to control, possibly leading to unhealthy weight gain and drinking or drugging. However, with the right coping skills and support, it’s possible to balance out our emotions during uncertain times.

8 Tips to Manage Your Mental Health During a Crisis

1. Develop and stick with a routine. Daily (and even boring) routines can be very beneficial during a crisis. They provide a level of control during uncertainty. However, it is okay if you need to vary your routine. If you need to cut back on some activities, that is okay. Many people are in a state of trauma right now and it is difficult to think and process.

Simple structure works. Get to sleep at the same time each night and eat healthy meals. Make time to move in some way, either a walk outside or an exercise video. Practice some meditation and mindfulness. Sticking to a routine can prove surprisingly effective at maintaining good emotional balance in uncertain times.

2. Stay connected.  Quarantine makes it very easy to isolate ourselves. You’re going to have to be more intentional about connecting with your friends, family, church and support networks. You need these connections now more than ever.

3. Practice self care. A good self care routine goes a long way towards counteracting fear, stress and anxiety. In addition to healthy eating and exercise, keep up a daily spiritual or devotional time. Take a social media detox either by limiting it, deleting apps from your phone or even just tuning out for a few days or longer. Doomsday scrolling is toxic to mental health.

4. Creativity improves mental health. Many people find that getting creative can help them to express their emotions. It can also prove a great distraction from negative thinking and gets you away from your phone. There is nothing greater than losing yourself in a creative hobby. Think about starting a new hobby such as crocheting, knitting, drawing, painting, gardening, coloring…the list goes on. Getting creative can really help to balance out your emotions in tough times. It will take your mind off everything.

5. Learn something new. Putting your energy into learning something new is another good way to distract yourself from thew news. It enables you to focus on something else. There are so many things you can learn about. Have you always wanted to learn a new language? Play a musical instrument? Learn some new art techniques? YouTube has a plethora of learning opportunities that you can explore.

6. Focus on what you can control. If you only focus on what you can’t control, it’s going to cause you to feel helpless, depressed and anxious. But if you switch your focus to the things you can control, you will feel more confident and empowered. Start by writing down what you can change about the situation right now. Even if it’s only the way you respond to the situation, there is always something you can control.

7. Limit the amount of news you watch. During a time of crisis, it’s natural to want to stay informed. But a steady stream of bad news (aka doomsday scrolling) can have a negative impact on your mental health. So try limiting your social media and news consumption and see just how much calmer you feel.

8. Journaling for mental health. Journaling is a time honored way of expressing your thoughts and feelings. It will help you to get the mental junk out of your head and find clarity for your life situation. It’s one of the best forms of mental health therapy that you can do.

9. Don’t be afraid to seek help. If you’ve tried most of these and nothing seems to work don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Sometimes we need that outside help to help us reorient our thinking and overcome negative emotions that come from a crisis. There is absolutely no shame in seeking help! It can help put you on a healthier path.

These are just 9 things you can do to become emotionally balanced during a crisis such as the COVID-19 pandemic. By focusing on the things you can control and taking care of yourself, you’ll be in a much better position mentally.

How to Heal After Trauma

It’s not exaggerating to say that in 2020, many of us are in a state of trauma. When you’re going through a severe crisis like this, emotional scars and PTSD often remain. If you don’t deal with these emotions, these scars can affect your life in a number of negative ways leading to stress, anxiety and destructive habits.

Here’s six things you can do to heal your inner self and reclaim your life.

1. Pay attention to your body’s signals. You know your body better than anybody else and it’s important to pay attention. By listening to how it is feeling, you’ll be able to identify what you need to do each day to make you feel better. I’ve noticed that since beginning a regular yoga and meditation practice, I notice these signals much faster and now I know what to do.

Begin by writing down your physical symptoms and what’s on your mind.  This will give you the best idea of how to make yourself feel better when you’re suffering emotional distress. In order to heal from a crisis, we need to recognize what our body wants and needs.

2. Acknowledge your trauma. It’s common to think that the best way to deal with trauma is to just bury it and move on. This is actually very harmful. It’s more important to acknowledge that it’s there. Acknowledge your trauma without judgment or commentary. It’s there. But don’t dwell on it. Go through it and process it..then let it go. Journal about the negative experience and how it makes you feel. Then analyze your entry. Why does it make you feel that way? What could you do or act to feel differently?

3. Practice self love. It’s so important to be kind to yourself when you’re healing from crisis or trauma. This means eating healthy food and getting some gentle exercise. It also means making time to do the things that you love. Taking some dedicated time each day will help you to reduce stress and stay calmer. Dwell on the positive. Post positive affirmations and quotes where you can easily see them. The more positive things you dwell on, the stronger you will become.

4. Set healthy boundaries. It’s essential to set healthy boundaries in life. If you’re healing from past trauma, you may have developed the habit to try and please other people. But if you don’t set or maintain healthy boundaries for yourself, that creates a toxic situation. Examine your life and consider where you can set boundaries. Do you find yourself saying yes to things you want to say no to? If you do this, it’s okay to be firm and recognize that it’s OK to say no. Don’t allow people to overstep your boundaries, shame or manipulate you; set personal limits and distance yourself from them.

5. Believe in yourself. Do you currently believe in yourself?  When you believe in yourself, you won’t let the opinions of others bother you. Things will bounce off you and you’ll find it easier to heal from trauma.

6. Make sleep and downtime a number one priority. In order to heal your inner self, it’s important that you  feel energized, in control and relaxed. If you’re not getting enough sleep, it can lead to a host of emotional and physical issues. Therefore, you’re going to want to make sure you make sleep a number one priority. Practice good sleep hygiene. Go to bed at the same time every night. Turn off the electronics a few hours before to decompress. Play calming music. Listen to a guided meditation. Make sure your bedroom promotes healthy sleep. Anything you can do to improve your sleep, is going to make it easier for you to heal.

As you can see, there many things you can do to heal your inner self after a crisis or trauma. The above are some of the most effective ways to start healing and become more emotionally balanced.

And remember that trauma does not have to define you. You are an overcomer!

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health professional or counselor. Please reach out to a qualified professional if you are struggling.

When you’re spending lots of time at home alone either due to social isolation or because you live with chronic illness, it can become very easy to get stressed out or depressed. The pandemic alone is stressful enough, but if you have to be quarantined alone those feelings can get even worse. If you’re struggling with signs of stress like constant worry and panic, insomnia, emotional eating binges or increased use of alcohol or drugs, then the following tips for reducing stress during social isolation can be very useful for you right now.

Limit News Consumption

We all want to know what’s going on and it can be hard to walk away, but if you’re staying home because of the Co-Vid 19 pandemic, you really want to be careful about much time you’re devoting every day to updates.  While you don’t want to unplug completely, try to limit how often you watch the news. Think about checking just once a day. News stations often repeat information so that’s really all you need. Pick a few selected news sources and try to leave it at that.

Set Time Limits On Social Media

Social media is a great way to keep up with friends, family and community happenings right now. But if you’re aimlessly scrolling and absorbing other people’s political posts, it can start to hurt your mental health. If you find that you feel fine before logging on, but are in a bad, irritable, sad, or upset mood after checking Facebook or Twitter, it’s time to limit your time on social media.

Try to set time blocks for using social media and staying away from it. It will vary based on your own schedule and routine, but try for blocks of 1-2 hours at a time. And consider an occasional 24 hour social media detox. 

Prioritize Your Mental Health and Self Care

Learning to prioritize your mental health and self care and is one of the best ways to reduce stress.  Distracting your mind from the pandemic is a great way to alleviate stress and depression.

If you feel like you’ve been stuck in the house forever, go outside for a walk. Just getting outside in the fresh air and getting some exercise is amazing for your emotional health. Some other self care ideas include reading, doing meditation, and participating in baking or making crafts.

Don’t Neglect Your Physical Health

In addition to your mental health, you can reduce stress by taking care of your body as well. This includes getting more exercise, eating a healthy diet, and staying hydrated. But keep in mind that eating healthy doesn’t mean being on a restrictive diet or never having treats. Don’t stress yourself further right now with extreme dieting or weight loss. Just try to balance your meals and snacks with something healthy that also includes some indulgent treats.

Social Distancing Done Right

We can be grateful for modern technology that gives us the ability to connect with friends, family, church and recovery communities. Don’t neglect this. Check in with your people a couple of times a week on Zoom, Facetime, text or phone. It will make all the difference.

Your mindset determines your course in life. Do you find yourself struggling with your personal life or at work? Does it seem like you keep trying but nothing ever pans out for you? Have you been struggling in work or in your personal life? Do you keep trying but it seems like everything you do is a waste?  If you’re starting to feel like success is completely out of reach for you, you’re wrong…read on for positive mindset tips that you can implement right away!

As a matter of fact, there’s a good chance that you’re already doing everything right! The problem isn’t what you’re doing, it’s how you’re thinking. If you want to achieve success in any sphere of life – whether it’s at home, with your family, at work or at school, the key to success is through a positive mindset.

Whether it’s through a toxic past or overwhelming life challenges, many of us are programmed to think negatively about our life situation. Perhaps we finish a project and instead of being excited about it, we worry that it isn’t good enough or are already thinking about the next thing. Or maybe we look at ourselves in the mirror and focus on our flaws, instead of our good parts.

This negative thinking permeates our lives. And while we think a little bit of self criticism might be helpful, it also holds us back. Because if all we see is negative, we easily become discouraged and are rarely successful.

Any successful entrepreneur will tell you that the key to success is believing that you can. This isn’t psychobabble, just an honest truth. When you have a positive attitude, you’re far more likely to do better in your endeavors. This is why teachers are encouraged to always put positive comments on their students’ papers, even if the child has done poorly. Likewise, schools and businesses give recognition to those who have done well, because positive thinking works.

But if you’ve spend your entire lifetime thinking negatively, retraining your brain to think more positively can be a challenge.

5 Positive Mindset Tips to Radically Improve Your life

1. Hang out with positive people.  If your tribe often brings you down, branch out a little bit. Begin to associate with positive people. Attitudes, both positive and negative, are contagious. While you can’t always spend the majority of your time with positive thinkers, or completely avoid the negative ones, you can try to budget your time and resources to be in more uplifting company. Remember, you become like the people you spend the most time with.

2. Surround yourself with positive words and images. Think about starting a vision board, or hanging some encouraging prints or even post it notes around the house. Do you remember the poster from years ago about the kitten hanging in a precarious position that said “Hang in there!” It might seem kind of silly but this kind of visual tool can be really effective. You can also look up  quotes, people, or images that you find inspiring and post them around your home or workspace. Doing this will provide you with a constant stream of positivity throughout your day.

3. Teachable spirit. Always strive to learn something new. Keep learning and growing. Read from a variety of sources, including those who have a different perspective from you. Iron sharpens iron.

4. Write your accomplishments down. At the end of each day, write down the things you’ve accomplished that day. The little things count here. Did you have a good idea or make someone smile? Just write down anything positive that happened during the day. This will help reinforce your positive thinking and set you up for a positive mindset  for tomorrow.

5. Learn lessons from your mistakes. We all screw up at times. It’s part of living. But if you’re constantly replaying the situation in your head and beating yourself up about it, take a step back. Review what happened. What can you do differently in the future?

If you take even small steps to improve your mindset, you’ll soon find success much easier to attain. And even if things don’t go the way you planned, don’t be discouraged about it. Just keep going!