Faith

10 Calming Bible Verses When You’re Overwhelmed

As a mom with chronic illness, I get overwhelmed a lot. Living with chronic pain means I have to be very selective about what I say yes to and since I still have kids at home, there always seem to be too many things that need a yes.

As a special needs mom, I’ve often been overwhelmed by many diagnoses among four kids, hospital visits, therapy needs, financial concerns, school issues, dietary needs and more.

The older I get, the more I understand just how much I’m powerless over. It’s scary. But when I dwell on it all too much, and let the worries of life begin to distract me from what I should be doing fear, depression and discouragement become a constant presence.

Much of the time the overwhelmed feeling comes from not spending quality time in prayer and Bible reading and thinking I could do things in my own strength. Time in the Word is essential to my spiritual maintenance. Too many times I’ve rushed through it or pushed it aside in favor of social media so that I didn’t have to think too hard in the morning when I’m foggy.

I’m still learning how to live intentionally and learning not to let my monkey mind run the show. One of the most important things I can do is meditate, even if it’s just one verse.

Here’s 10 calming Bible verses when you’re overwhelmed.

The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)
Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. (John 14:1)
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)
Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7)
You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you. (Isaiah 26:3)
Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world. (Psalm 46:10)
No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow–not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. (Romans 8:37)
Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands…(Isaiah 49:15-16a)

Do you have a favorite verse about being overwhelmed not listed here? I’d love to hear it!

My 10 Intentional Goals for 2017

I’m feeling a little shellshocked about the many celebrity passings of 2016.

Like many other kids from my generation, I grew up processing life through the music and comedy I listened to and the TV I watched. Struggling with constant conflicts with my biological family, and lacking any real extended family or faith community, I needed to feel part of something and I found it in 70s sitcoms and music. They were my family when I struggled with feeling loved and accepted in my own home. So when they inevitably pass away, it hits hard.

It’s only natural that we’ll be hearing about more and more deaths of musicians and celebrities with every passing year. What gives me pause is that many of them aren’t too much older than me and in a few cases were even younger.

While it saddens me and reminds me that time is indeed slipping into the future, it also makes me ponder how I really want to spend my time and what I want cut out what’s unnecessary. God willing, I’ll be 55 this year and my time on earth grows shorter. How can I redeem it and make it count?

I’m spending a little time this Christmas break setting intentions for 2017. Intentional goals are a kind and gentle way of setting priorities.

Read the Bible through. I’m embarrassed to admit that although I’ve been a Christian since 1988, there are some sections of the Old Testament I’ve never read and have never read it through as a whole. I’ve tried many times but got lost in Exodus and the business of life. I’m trying to do things a little differently this year. I found a plan that I think will be a good fit, and I’m going to make good use of the audio capabilities of YouVersion. I’m also using the Message translation because I just need a different voice.
Resume health and wellness goals. I lost 25 lbs. In 2016, about halfway to goal. I probably could have gotten there sooner but I went off track quite a bit the second half of the year. I love yoga and am happy to do it most days but I need to add some cardio to the mix a few times a week because I lose weight faster when I sweat. Also I’m aiming to add two hot yoga sessions at the gym a week because as much as I don’t like the instructor’s style, it does push me past my limits and I feel great afterwards with reduced pain and spasm.
Learn photography. It’s been a dream of mine to be a photographer for a long time but life always got in the way of my getting a DSLR or even having the time to learn. I’ve found a great photography course that I have already learned so much from. I’m kind of wondering if I’m really too old now to expect to go pro but it’s definitely a fulfilling and creative pastime for me. I’m also working on learning Photoshop with the hope of adding graphics and printables services to my business down the road.
Reduce time spent on social media scrolling. I’m as hooked to my phone as anyone else and I spend far too much time randomly scrolling my social media feeds. It can really get in the way of productive reading. I just bought a Kindle paperwhite for this purpose so that I’d have something productive to read when in the car or sitting around waiting rooms. After this election season (and the sure to be ongoing drama in 2017…) I just find being online too much to be really draining. For me, there’s too much information to consume and process. I try to follow positive people for the most part but I can’t get away from the lingering sadness I feel when I see pics of people with big extended families or moms who aren’t chronically ill being able to do things with their kids that I can no longer do. Social media can be a blessing when it connects me with others who are struggling, gives me a writing outlet and a chance to earn a little extra money but it’s a curse when it triggers sadness and depression.
Get outside. Chronic pain is a constant presence in my life that limits walking, which I used to love to do. I also hate the Florida heat and I find myself indoors far too much. One good thing about having an active Jack Russell terrier is that it does force me to get outside several times a day but I need to do more than than that.
Pray. Somehow this fell by the wayside this year. I’ve been operating in “independence” mode all on my own strength. It’s a major character flaw of mine. I still want to be a badass New Yorker, but I often think God allowed me to become a disabled special needs mom so that I would see my powerlessness, learn to depend on Him more and see His provision in everything.
Practice acceptance. Living with chronic pain has meant giving up a lot. It isn’t easy. I’m continually learning life lessons on accepting what I can’t change and the living the chronic life as best as I can.
Practice gratitude. No matter how I’m feeling or what’s going on aroundme, there’s always something to be grateful for.
Live one day at a time. I’m one of those big picture people who is constantly thinking what the next step is. That’s a given as a special needs mom…we tend to worry about the future more. We do have to plan ahead. But I have to learn not to overthink everything and accept each day and what it brings.
Create margin in every area of my life. After 20 years of raising 4 kids, homeschooling and the household chaos that comes with being a special needs family, there is a whole lot of mess and clutter in every part of my house. Not sure if I should just tackle a draw at a time or attempt a program like this one (which might doom me to failure) or this one but every box taken out of the house and found drawer space is a victory.

One more thing…I’d be remiss in not mentioning that I’m entering my 32nd year of sobriety. It’s still one day at a time. Living these intentions to the best of my ability will keep me in a good mindset which is essential to long term sobriety.

P.S.I like to use my bullet journal to keep track of what I don’t do so that I don’t succumb to overwhelm and put too much on my plate.

My friend Candace at Mercy is New likes to call these intentions Grace Goals. While everything seems possible during holiday or summer break, the reality of life WILL happen. Baby steps are all we really need to take and keep moving forward in grace with intention.

Oh wait, there’s one more intention. I’ll be joining Candace’s community to study Woman of the Word in January. I really want to develop as a Christian writer and share the reason for my hope. That starts with more systemic study of the Bible. You can find more info here.

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A Random Thoughts and a Look Towards 2017

Well, December completely blew up on me. I’ve been sick off and on since Thanksgiving and have been trying to keep up with the usual holiday craziness and various medical appointments that HAD to be this month.

I’ve learned to let go of most holiday expectations and accept what I can and cannot do. It’s been said that expectations are premeditated resentments and that has certainly been a problem for me in the past.

I’m continuing to practice positive self care as much as I can. For me this looks like:

*Minimizing sugar intake

*Yoga every day I can

*Plenty of rest

*Saying no when I have to

Looking ahead to 2017 I’m trying to take some time to see what I really should be focusing on and be more intentional with my time in 2017. I probably won’t be writing much until after the holidays and am trying to minimize random social media scrolling. I’m really finding that it sucks the life and creativity out of me.

Thank you all who visit my blog for your comments and support, and I’ll see you soon!

An Easter Sunday Revelation

I’ve been sober since 1986 and a Christian since late 1988 which has now been for most of my adult life. In the daily-ness of my everyday life of homeschooling, shlepping to appointments, homeschool and church groups, the gym, social media and whatever errands the week throws at me it’s been easy for me to forget where I came from and how much I have to be grateful for.

Until yesterday.

My church’s music ministry excels every Sunday of the year but there was something very special going on yesterday. I was just focusing on the beautiful music and worship when I suddenly got an intense visual picture of another Sunday many years in the past. It was the morning after a cocaine-fueled Saturday night. I got home Sunday morning and was horribly sick. My heart had a weird, irregular beat. I wondered if I was dying. I thought I should go to the hospital but then I would have to admit to what I had been doing. So I decided to stay home and ride it out. I was so weak I couldn’t leave my room for several days. I was plagued by the usual remorse. “Why do I keep doing that?” “Why does this always happen?” “I’ll NEVER do that again!” This was followed by the usual hopelessness and depression that threatened to suffocate me.

And as I was reliving this incident this passage was shared from Romans 6.

“For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin, because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.”

Yesterday, somehow this verse struck me in a different way, a more glorious way, a way I had not experienced before even after sitting through sermons from Romans many times through the years. I’m not usually very charismatic but yesterday I really understood what it meant “to be in the Spirit on the Lord’s Day.”

It can be easy to be lulled into complacency and to take things for granted but this was a reminder that God’s mercies are new EVERY morning and great is His faithfulness! He’s not finished with me yet.

Some may wonder why I’m so open about this. In the rooms of recovery I learned that I can only keep what I have by giving it away. I’m not able to get to meetings at this time of my life so the only way I can really give it away right now is through my writing. It’s not about me trying to look good. It’s about sharing my experience, strength and hope so that maybe someone else who is struggling can find Christ and recovery like I did.

Remembering Bill Irwin: Blind Courage

The first time I heard about Bill Irwin was during a church service sometime in 1990. The pastor announced that there was a blind man hiking the Appalachian Trail all the way from Georgia to Maine and he asked the congregation to pray for him. I couldn’t foresee that we would actually get to meet him, become friends with him in the not-too-distant future or know the deep impact that he would have on my life as disability came sooner than I could ever imagine.

In 1991, my husband decided to start a Came to Believe retreat in Queens, New York. These retreats freely spoke of the influence that the Bible, Oxford group and devotional ideas that helped early AAs to get and stay sober. We thought Bill would be a wonderful speaker for our event and were very excited when he accepted our invitation.

One of the wonderful gifts of The Fellowship is that in spite of the heartache of our drinking and drugging histories, and the price we paid to get to AA, we can find laughter and camaraderie with other alcoholics and addicts. Bill had us hysterically laughing as he shared some of his adventures with us. But most importantly, he showed us the transforming power of Jesus Christ that turned his life around and became a powerful witness to the many who have heard him speak or read his book Blind Courage.

When we met Bill, I was 30 years old and untouched by disability or limitations. I went on a few long walks (would they be anything else but long?) with Bill around Queens and Brooklyn. My husband has never been fond of long walks. One time Bill had him walk from Brooklyn to Manhattan in the snow and then wanted to walk back. He responded, “I don’t know about you, but I’m taking the train!”

We hit it off very well with Bill and he invited us to visit him in North Carolina. He lost his grandson tragically just before our visit but he insisted that we come anyway. My daughter was just five months old at the time and took her first crawl toward Orient. We had a lot of fun and ate fabulous barbecue just about every night. (This was before the Hallelujah Diet!)

We moved to the Tampa Bay area of Florida in 1994 and I had three more kids. Motherhood has not been an easy journey for me. Among four kids we have diagnoses of scoliosis, NF-1, Down Syndrome, a congenital heart defect and learning disabilities. I was overwhelmed just about all of the time.

I was at a Down Syndrome conference around 2009 and remember very clearly the speaker saying that disability would happen to all of us eventually if we lived long enough. Like anybody else, I figured that was way off in the future.

It wasn’t. In the summer of 2010 I began to experience distressing neurological symptoms causing my neck and shoulders to twist involuntarily, as well as a head tremor. I was quickly diagnosed with cervical dystonia, a neurological movement disorder. It is a devastating diagnosis, and doubly so as I was already a special needs mom. I couldn’t drive and could barely get off the couch to take care of my family. Six months after my symptoms started, my son had a cardiac emergency and had to get a pacemaker.

Although I’ve been sober since 1986, depression and anxiety are still a real problem for me. They got worse with the intensity of my symptoms. I researched cervical dystonia online and was distressed to learn of some suicide attempts and drinking. I knew I was in a dangerous place but I could not get myself to a meeting.

I made a decision I was going to hang in there for my family and chased recovery as hard as I had chased drinking and drugs. I found people online who were living with dystonia positively. The one thing I found they all had in common was exercise was a big priority for them. Initially I couldn’t walk more than a couple of hundred yards on my street. But with physical therapy stretches and yoga, I slowly started to improve.

And then I remembered Bill and his walk. I started to think that God had sent Bill into our lives as His advance man to show me how to live with disability and recovery. It was hard for me to stay in touch with Bill as our lives had become so hectic, but I often thought about the walk. The part I remember most clearly was when he was crossing the treacherous river. How often I’ve felt like that in my own life.

I was saddened to learn that Bill went Home last week. Saturday I went to bed teary eyed thinking about Bill. Sunday morning I woke up to find out that my son Nicolas had made the cover of the local section of two area newspapers. This is Bill’s legacy in our family. Overcoming and perseverance. I will surely share Bill’s story with Nicolas as he has the ability to understand that nothing has to stop him from living a purposeful life.

Unless God chooses to heal me, dystonia will be a thorn in my flesh the rest of my life. Despite my exercise and shots, some days are miserable. I can get depressed and feel sorry for myself about not being the same mom to my younger kids that I was to the oldest. But God did not leave me comfortless. He sent friends such as Bill Irwin into my path to show me how to live with disability and limitations.

I was hoping to be able to see Bill again and sadly I won’t this side of heaven. But I know that he’s with God now and he can truly see. I was blessed to meet his wife Debra and I just know that God has great things in store for her to continue the ministry that she and Bill had and their message will continue to go forth.

Bill’s inspiring story of perseverance is being made into a movie. Follow Blind Courage the Movie on Facebook for updates. You can find also find the book Blind Courage on Amazon.

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