Chronic Illness

A Mom’s Guide to Coping With Depression

April 16, 2018 by Marya 10 Comments

Before you read this, please know that I’m not a doctor or mental health professional. I’m just a woman in recovery who’s been coping with depression on and off for much of my life & sharing my experience. Please seek out a trusted friend or counselor to help you get through this. You’re not alone! Many of us are on the path of recovery from depression.

Signs You Could Be Depressed

Everyone feels down in the dumps from time to time. It’s a normal part of life. But if you find yourself feeling sad or hopeless for days or weeks at a time, it’s time to take a closer look at it. Maybe you’re always tired, not feeling well and you don’t have any interest in the things that used to motivate you. Or maybe you’re struggling with emotional eating to stuff the feelings.

Other signs of depression might include increased moodiness and irritability. When you don’t feel well, it’s normal for your patience to be limited in other areas of your life. Brain fog can also be a sign of depression when it begins to drag on for days or weeks.

People living with chronic illness can be especially prone to depression. If this is a struggle for you, please read this article about going on with life after the diagnosis.

Thinking About Suicide

One sure sign that you might have depression is an increase in suicidal thoughts. This can happen to some people during a bout of intense depression, it’s not something that’s ongoing or long term and they may realize that they had the thought only after it passed.

However.

If you’re having suicidal thoughts that won’t go away, or if you’re considering how you might do it, then please seek help right away. Know that you can go to the emergency room. You might have severe depression and could possibly become a danger to yourself. A professional doctor or counselor can help you to develop an ongoing counseling and treatment program.

I was there myself in 1985, shortly before I got sober. Bogged down with past traumas, life was overwhelming and I felt like completely worthless. Getting into 12 step recovery and finding people who understand helped me to move past this mindset, but I will always have to be vigilant about managing depression when it comes up.

10 Ways to Reach Out When You’re Struggling With Your Mental Health is easily the best and most complete post I’ve seen on the difficult subject of suicide prevention and reaching out for help. If you want to reach out but don’t know what to ask for or what to say, please read this. And bookmark it for the future if you have to.

Chronic Insomnia

If you’re struggling with severe fatigue that isn’t related to chronic illness, it might be a sign of depression. Insomnia is probably related to depression when you can’t fall sleep or you wake up with sudden anxiety attacks or a heavy, depressed feeling.

Your Whole Body Aches

Body aches can happen to anyone after a workout, during sickness like a cold or flu or for many other reasons. But if you’re having physical aches and pains that don’t have an obvious cause, then it may be depression related.

If you’re having one or more of these signs of depression, please make an appointment to see a qualified counselor or doctor. They’ll work with you to come up with a treatment plan to help you.

What Are the Different Types of Depression?

Many of us think that depression is just an overwhelming heaviness that takes over our lives. However, there are many different types of depression. It’s good to have an understanding of what they are so that you can seek appropriate treatment.

Dysthymia

Dysthymia is also called persistent depressive disorder. This type of depression is easily confused with major depression. Dysthymia depression creates a sad or depressed effect that lasts for a long period of time. People might think you have a gloomy personality. You may have ongoing fatigue issues and struggle with cold like symptoms. This type of depression may be treated with over the counter supplements, mild forms of depression medication, or natural methods such as herbs or mindfulness journaling.

Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is hard to talk about. You’ve just had a baby and should be over the moon excited, right? But some moms get depressed after having their babies. And if it’s not recognized and treated, it can go on for years.

One reason may be a loss of hormones, especially during difficult pregnancies. Having a child with intense medical needs can also trigger depression. For some, symptoms may be mild with feelings of fatigue and anxiety, but some moms may struggle with suicidal thoughts. Coping with postpartum depression generally requires counseling and drug therapy.

Atypical Depression

Atypical depression is a form of depression that has more physical symptoms than emotional. These symptoms may include increased appetite or weight gain, extreme fatigue and moodiness. In fact, it can be misdiagnosed as a physical issue that requires physical therapy.

Some women might feel like their extremeties feel incredibly heavy, because this type of depression works through your muscles and nerve endings causing these symptoms. Atypical depression is typically treated with focusing on diet and exercise since overweight individuals and people with eating disorders are at the highest risk for atypical depression.

If you think that you are suffering from these, or other types of depression, consider speaking with your doctor. They will be able to help you with treatment plans and how you and cope with your symptoms. They can also offer suggestions for natural therapy that works for both long and short term assistance.

How to Help a Loved One With Their Depression

If you don’t live with depression yourself, it’s hard to know what to say or do when someone you love is struggling with it. The following tips are going to help you help your loved one with depression.

Know What to Say to Someone Struggling With Depression

Your words have the ability to make a big impact on someone who’s struggling and help them to feel better or worse. One of the best things you can do is to let them know that you’ll be there for them and their life matters. Let them know they’re not crazy. Send encouraging texts. Just be present and offer your help.

Also Know What Not to Say to Someone Struggling With Depression

Don’t tell them you know how they feel when you’ve never struggled with depression yourself. Don’t make light of what they’re thinking about or feeling. Remember, there is no quick and easy solution here. If you’re a real friend, be ready to go the distance with them as they work things out.

Depression is a complicated condition that is very hard for others to understand. Don’t make assumptions or hint that it is all in their head. And don’t try to tell them just to be positive or look on the bright side.

What your friend really needs is real empathy and a listening ear.
If the situation warrants it, encourage them to seek treatment. Help them make an appointment with their doctor, because people with depression will procrastinate about taking this step on their own. Let them know you’ll be there with them, even going to appointments with them if they need that.

Coping With Depression Without Medication

I’ve never used medication for coping with depression though I’ve certainly been encouraged to. It’s a very personal decision and there’s no shame in whatever route you choose. (For me, I was leery of the meds and possible side effects, but I won’t rule meds out in the future if the situation ever grew worse.) These methods have worked for me, but again, every person is different. Please reach out for help if your depression is overwhelming.

Journaling for Depression

Journaling is often mentioned to help with depression. Writing things down can help you to work through ongoing issues and what might be causing them. Journaling can help you find out the root of what might be going on. Journaling can also help you to focus on gratitude and the positive aspects of your day. (For me, just writing things down, playing with stickers and pretty paper gets my mind off what’s going on and is very healing.)

Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness meditation is very helpful for people with ongoing depression issues. Mindfulness techniques include meditation, journaling, and yoga. Mindfulness simply means to focus on the present, think about what’s positive, noticing your thoughts in a non-judgmental way, and then moving on to a better space.

Mindfulness can help give you an better outlook on life and help you get things back on track. This may or may not work for severe depression, but it can help reduce symptoms.

Eat Healthy

People who are depressed may struggle with disordered or binge eating. Work towards improving your relationship with food and you’ll feel much better and see an improvement in the way you handle what life throws at you.

When to See a Doctor For Your Depression

Depression may be something that’s plagued you for years. Maybe you tried to self treat with methods like journaling, supplements, or diet changes. Though this may work for some people, there are cases where it doesn’t work and the depression becomes worse. If this sounds like you, you might be wondering when you should see a doctor for your depression.

If this is the case, you may be wondering when it is time to break down and see a doctor for your depression.

If natural methods haven’t worked for you, you may be dealing with more deep rooted issues. You may also be treating a form of depression that is not diagnosed and your treatment is not accurate for your particular form of depression.

If you’re struggling with persistent suicidal thoughts, please see a doctor for assistance right away. A good doctor or counselor will help you with a treatment plan and counseling option to help curb the recurring thoughts and keep them at bay while you work on your depression and anxiety as a whole. If the suicidal thoughts are overwhelming, please go to a local emergency clinic or hospital for assistance.

Self Harm Issues

Many people think of self harm as someone cutting themselves. But it isn’t the only ones. Other forms of self harm can involve drugs, drinking, and ongoing self destructive behavior. (This is what I lived with.) This is often done to numb overwhelming emotional pain. If you’re struggling with self harm please seek out treatment from a qualified professional.

In conclusion, there are several different types of depression. Everyone is different, and will respond differently. What worked for me may not work for you. Be open to what treatment plans you’re offered.

Coping with depression and ongoing recovery is ongoing process that will need time to work out.

If you’re struggling with depression, please reach out to a friend, counselor or mental health professional. I’ve started a list of mental health resources here.

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30 Random Things About Living With Chronic Illness

March 13, 2018 by Marya 4 Comments

30 Random Things about Living With Chronic Illness

1. I live with cervical dystonia, a neurological movement disorder that causes intense muscle spasms in my neck and shoulders, head rotation, head tremors and constant pain.

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2010

3. But I had slight symptoms since: 2010. I know I’m really fortunate it got diagnosed right away.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Limited driving when I have kids under 18 who need me.

5. Most people assume: I am strong. If I am, it’s because I have to make that conscious choice every single day.

6. The hardest part about mornings are: Getting out of bed and knowing the pain is going to start.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: Haven’t watched medical shows in a long time. But I love Mad Men! I usually save it for when I’m completely down.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: Do I have to choose? Love Apple products and my Cuisinart. I hate chopping.

9. The hardest part about nights are: Insomnia, but I had that before I had dystonia

10. My daily routine: Devotions. Yoga. Lots of rest. Homeschooling. Blogging. Cooking. Anything else depends on how many spoons are left.

11. Regarding treatments: I get Xeomin injections every 3 months to be able to help keep my head straight and reduce tremors. I use essential oils and muscle relaxers to help with pain relief. Lots of yoga and exercise. I’m on a never ending journey to learn more about positively living with chronic illness

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Don’t know. They both stink.

13. Regarding chronic illness and working: I’m unemployable in the corporate world now. I’m working on building up my blog and freelance writing. I also have lots of ideas that I don’t have the time to get to right now!

14. People would be surprised to know: 1. Anxiety is a big part of this disorder 2. What my trapezius muscle feels like most of the time.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: dependence on other people and being patient with them when they don’t understand.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: have somewhat of a normal life. I was incapacitated for nearly a year.

17. The commercials about my illness: There aren’t any for dystonia. We don’t have a celebrity spokesman although the Michael J. Fox Foundation has added dystonia to their research since it can co-exist with Parkinson’s for many people.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: Jumping in the car with my kids and taking them anywhere I wanted. Now it’s got to be planned with someone else driving.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: see 18.

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Yoga

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: Be incredibly happy.

22. My illness has taught me: God is in control and to trust Him even when things are not going the way I hope. To be thankful for small things.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”

24. But I love it when people: Ask me what dystonia is, because it is so misunderstood.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: It’s hard to pick but this is a favorite. 2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody. Welcome to the world this difficult and unpredictable disorder. You’ll learn what works best for you as time goes on. Life is still worth living.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: Life goes on and the time passes. It’s up to me to make them most of it.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me: Shoutout to my family who patiently pick up the slack for me. I know this affects them every single day.

29. Why I advocate: We need more awareness and more treatment options. Dystonia needs to become as easily recognized as other chronic illness conditions such as Fibromyalgia Parkinson’s, Multiple Sclerosis and countless others.

30. The fact that you read this list about living with chronic illness makes me feel: thankful that you took the time to read it! Many people don’t know about cervical dystonia, even though it’s the third most common movement disorder after Parkinson’s and Essential Tremor.

A Beginner’s Guide to Natural Chronic Pain Management

February 26, 2018 by Marya 10 Comments

Understand Your Chronic Pain Triggers

No matter what causes your chronic pain, you know how miserable it can make your life during a flare up. The first step in natural chronic pain management should be knowing what the most common chronic pain triggers are and taking the steps to reduce their impact on your life.

Weather and Atmospheric Changes

When the weather changes to an extreme, whether from hot to cold or cold to hot, it can affect certain types of chronic pain. This is especially true when your pain is related to your joints, such as with arthritis or fibromyalgia but is also true of many other conditions.

It can be helpful to keep a pain journal and record what’s going on the days you had a bad flare up. You might notice that your neck, back or knees hurt worse on rainy or extremely cold days. Understanding how weather changes can affect your chronic pain will help you to better prepare for them in the future.

Elevated Stress Levels

Stress is an unavoidable part of life, and some of us have a lot more than others. For most people with chronic illness, stress just makes everything even worse. You’ve probably noticed that when life stresses have increased, the chronic pain soon follows. This is why knowing how to reduce stress is an essential part of chronic pain management.

Hormonal Changes in Women

For women, a big flare trigger for chronic pain can be when you have hormonal changes during different times of the month. These could be related to PMS, during the time of your cycle or as you begin to head toward menopause. This is another reason to note what’s going on in your pain journal, because writing things down will help you to notice these patterns. And the more you know, the better prepared you’ll be to manage these potential triggers.

Eating Inflammatory Foods

If your pain is related to your digestive system, such as with inflammatory bowel disease or irritable bowel syndrome, you already know you should be careful about what you eat. But this also applies to most chronic pain patients as well. Refined carbs such as white bread, rice and pasta are very inflammatory and can make many chronic pain conditions worse. Know your condition to learn what the potential food triggers are.

Tips for Natural Chronic Pain Management

Reduce stress in your life. Negative feelings such as depression, anxiety and anger can make your chronic pain worse. Learn how to reduce stress and you may find some relief from chronic pain.

Ditch the sugar. As mentioned above, inflammatory foods such as sugar and refined grains can contribute to elevated pain levels. Many people find relief following a low carb or paleo diet.

Learn some simple breathing and meditation techniques to help your body relax, which may help to ease pain. Look into guided meditation for a simple way to learn to relax.

Cut back on alcohol, or eliminate it entirely. Chronic pain can make sleep difficult, but drinking alcohol is just putting a bandage on it and can make sleep problems even worse.

Getting regular exercise is a very effective part of a natural chronic pain management program. Not only that, it will help to keep your weight down, it will also reduce heart disease and help to control blood sugar levels.

Ask your health care professional about what the best exercise routine would be for you. If your energy levels are low or your mobility is limited, you can still find gentle workouts that won’t tax you. Yoga can be very accessible for most people.

I’ve been living with the chronic pain condition cervical dystonia since 2010. While there is no cure for it, I have been able greatly reduce pharmaceuticals by using these natural chronic pain management methods in my life.

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How to Exercise With Chronic Illness

January 16, 2018 by Marya 4 Comments

Studies show that most Americans spend far too much time sitting or laying down, sometimes as often as nine hours per day. In terms of overall health and wellness, this sedentary lifestyle could even be just as dangerous as smoking cigarettes.

However, some people live with chronic illness or limited mobility which can make getting out of their bed or chair quite difficult. Others may have broken a leg or an ankle, and are stuck sitting for long periods of time until the injury is healed. And some people aren’t able to stand at all, but they can still get some exercise while sitting down.

Staying fit as we age is matter of use it or lose it. If we don’t stay moving, stiffness and pain will only increase if we sit in the same position for hours on end, and then try to suddenly move in order to exercise.

But the good news is that it’s very possible for you to exercise with chronic illness no matter how limited you are if you choose the right exercises. Not only that, but it’s even possible to lose weight if you make the right choices when you develop your wellness routine.

Seated Workouts for Chronic Pain and Fatigue

Seated workouts will vary in intensity depending on where you’re sitting, the type of chair or seat you’re using, and whether or not you’re disabled or lack enough strength in your legs. If you have trouble with balance, standing up and walking on your own you can still get a good workout, but you’ll need to plan ahead as to what exercises and equipment are best suited for you.

Setting Realistic Wellness Goals

Seated workouts won’t improve every part of your body (you won’t look like a Cross Fitter but you can improve muscle tone and flexibility) but they can do wonders for your upper body and core muscles.

Remember that core strength is essential to overall fitness because your core supports everything that you do when sitting and will help you to maintain good posture and reduce back pain. Your workout might include upper body calisthenics on their own, or you could add light weights and resistance bands to increase your results.

How to Choose the Right Equipment

You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get started. If you don’t have weights, you can start out with bottles or gallons of water which can serve as light hand weights when you’re working out at home.

You might want to consider investing in a set of hand weights such as Aquabells. You just add water to the little plastic reservoirs to increase the weight of the barbells. Each weight can hold a total of 16 pounds. There’s also very portable if you are traveling. Just take out the water and pack them flat to take wherever you go.

Another option to consider for seated workouts is a good set of resistance bands. These bands offer similar weights to light hand weights weights even though your stretching dense rubber bands. They typically come in a set of several bands of different weights. For example, using one band might be equal to three pounds of resistance. So using all the bands in a kit might give you a total of 75 pounds.

You can definitely get a good work out sitting down….you just need to learn how to choose the routines that are right for you according to where you’re at today. Accept where you are and set realistic expectations for your health and fitness level.

My Suggestions for Exercise with Chronic Illness

I highly recommend Sleepy Santosha. Her yoga practices are truly accessible to most people, no matter what the physical limitations are. And best of all, you don’t have to leave the house!

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

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A Very Chronic Christmas: Surviving the Holidays

December 15, 2017 by Marya 3 Comments

Many people struggle during the holidays for a variety of reasons whether it be sickness, financial or family troubles. Living with chronic illness is its own special hell at times and it really helps to know that there are others out there who are walking this tough road. I’ve rounded up some posts from other chronic illness bloggers who offer helpful ideas for making the most of a chronic Christmas and surviving the holidays.

Living with never ending chronic pain takes a big emotional toll and the holidays make it worse. The Emotional Side of Chronic Pain will help you to feel a little less alone and offers some practical coping tips.

Holidays with chronic illness are tough. It’s okay to do things a little differently! How to Find Rest and Survive the Holidays is a great read!

Many people struggle with loneliness during the holidays…Chronic Illness & Friendship helps you to figure out who’s important and who isn’t.

Mindful living has been a key part of managing my life with chronic illness. Your Mindful Guide to Surviving the Holiday Season with Chronic Illness will help you to put first things first!

We can never have enough chronic illness gift guides! I’m all about the experience myself and so I really liked these Experience Based Gifts for Loved Ones Living With Chronic Illness.

If you’re traveling, you’ll appreciate these tips for accessible travel. Though written for Traveling with Rheumatoid Arthritis, these are tips are helpful for anyone traveling with chronic illness.

Holidays are a tough time to be grieving. Grieving over the loss of your old life is totally normal. If you’ve experienced a loss of any kind, you’ll want to read Are You Grieving This Christmas?

Check out the spoon saving gift ideas from The Disabled Diva Blog!

If you’re feeling a little melancholy, know that you’re not alone! Read more at A Merry Little Chronic Christmas

Spoonies are kind of like snowflakes…no two of us are alike! Read more at My Brain Lesion and Me

What people with chronic pain REALLY want this year…

Are you dreading the New Year with all its’ uncertainty? Read 5 Things to Help You With Year End Anxiety for some helpful coping tips.

And here’s a few that I’ve written:

How to Survive Holiday Depression and Disability

How to Stay Healthy This Winter

Why I’m Keeping Christmas Simple

I hope these articles help you to survive your Chronic Christmas and maybe even thrive! Wishing all my readers very Happy Holidays and a peaceful New Year.

5 Tips to Help You Cope With Chronic Pain

November 28, 2017 by Marya 6 Comments

Living with chronic pain can feel relentless and overwhelming at times. However, there are self care practices that you can do every day to help you cope with chronic pain. You might already be doing some of these things, while the others you’ll have to be more intentional with. It’s most important that you consistently keep trying to make positive changes in your life for effective pain management and optimum mental health. Here’s 5 tips to cope with chronic pain that can help things to be more manageable.

Reduce Your Stress Levels

Stress has a negative impact on every area of our lives, especially chronic illness and chronic pain. No matter what the cause of your chronic pain, stress is very likely to trigger flares and make everything worse than it already is. The most important thing you can do is to figure out what’s causing your stress and find ways to reduce it. This might be as simple as leading a more organized life to avoid every day stress or limiting time spent with toxic people.

Wake Up Your Endorphins

You don’t love exercise? Do it anyway! While you already know that exercise is a great way to control your weight and get in better shape, it also helps to promote blood flow that helps to reduce your risk for conditions such as diabetes, heart disease and high blood pressure. A good workout not only makes you sweat a bit, but also releases endorphins, the happy chemicals in your brain. When endorphins are released your stress levels are quickly reduced and your overall mood will be improved.

Exercises helps us to handle chronic pain much better. If it’s a struggle to get started, just accept where you are and go from there. No matter what the source of your chronic pain is, whether it be from fibromyalgia, arthritis or any form of chronic illness, gentle movement is a great way to reduce chronic pain levels. I live with cervical dystonia and my upper back and neck are frequently in spasm but yoga and fitness walks help keep me functioning.

Reduce or Eliminate Your Alcohol Intake

I’ve been sober for over 30 years and have never used alcohol to alleviate my chronic pain. This has been a big part of my drive to live out healthy self care practices. While drinking alcohol might be a temporary fix, it will only hurt you in the long run.

Remember that alcohol is a drug, albeit a legal one. It’s a depressant and can make your mood highs and lows much worse. Not only that, drinking can interfere with proper sleep which is extremely important to those living with chronic pain.

If you want to stay away from alcohol, just reach out to find sober community online, I highly recommend She Recovers and Sober Mommies to find your sober tribe.

Eat a Healthy Diet

The typical American diet causes inflammation, which definitely contributes to elevated pain levels. At the very least, try to drastically reduce grains and processed sugars. Some people might find it helpful to eliminate dairy and nightshades. If you aren’t able to see a functional medicine doctor, do some online research to get started.

Find a Support Group

Chronic pain is not something to take lightly. It’s life altering and overwhelming. It can contribute to anxiety and depression, possibly even suicidal thoughts. Unfortunately, those around you may not understand what life is like for you and that can be really depressing. If it’s not possible to find a local group, there are many ways to connect on social media. You can look for Facebook groups or if that gets to be too much, you can search the hashtag of your diagnosis on Twitter or Instagram to connect.

This blog uses affiliate links. They do not affect the cost of the product for you, but I receive a small commission for recommending them. I only recommend products that I feel comfortable with and believe would benefit my readers. Thanks for your support!

This blog post should not be construed as medical advice. I’m not a doctor, counselor, coach, aromatherapy professional, or a yoga teacher. I’m just a sober mom who graduated from the School of Hard Knocks and has suffered with the debilitating neurological condition dystonia since 2010 and ulcerative colitis since 2018. Yoga for natural chronic pain management has worked for me not as a cure, but as a tool to help manage the complexities of my condition.

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Ditch Holiday Depression by Paying It Forward

November 2, 2017 by Marya Leave a Comment

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” – Luke 6:31, NIV

Anna’s day was off to a rough start. She overslept and was late getting the kids out the door. Traffic was backed up and she realized she forgot to charge her smartphone’s battery. With no time to make coffee, she stopped at a drive through but when she went to pay her bill, the cashier let her know that the customer ahead of her had already paid her bill.

This simple act of kindness brought a smile to Anna’s face. Suddenly the day seemed a little better. So she decided to pay it forward and bought a cup of coffee for the person in line behind her. And for the rest of the day, she tried to look for little ways that she could help to brighten someone else’s day.

The holidays can be one of the difficult times of year for people who struggling with depression or are grieving. If you know that holidays are a hard time for you, start to think now about how you might pay it forward and do some random acts of kindness.

If you’re stuck for ideas, try doing one of these things:

Pay for the coffee of the person behind you.
Leave a big tip for your server.
Write a sweet note and put it in your child’s backpack.
Give a stranger a simple compliment.
Call or message a friend going through a hard time.
Invite friends who might be alone during the holidays over for coffee or a holiday meal.

Kindness doesn’t cost much and it only takes a few minutes to start a chain reaction of giving. The world needs it.

God, help me find small ways to give back to others. Show me how I can cheer up those around me who might be struggling.

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How to Survive Holiday Depression and Disability

October 28, 2017 by Marya 6 Comments

Depression is a sad reality for many of us during the holidays. Dealing with disability in ourselves or a loved one can intensify it. Some people might also grieving the loss of a loved one. Money struggles, strained family relationships and social pressures can also make the holidays difficult.

My Story

Depression has been an unwelcome presence in my life for as long as I can remember. When I was a child, I tried to numb it with food. When I was a teenager and on into early adulthood, I tried to numb myself into oblivion with drugs and alcohol. Trouble with that was I had to sober up sometime and when I did, I was still depressed. Worse, I got myself to the place where even that wasn’t working anymore.

I began attending twelve step meetings around the fall of 1985. The holiday season was beginning, of course and despite my best intentions I could not stay sober for anything. I thought I could handle the parties without drinking but failed miserably. I finally made a commitment to sobriety in January of 1988 and I’ve stayed sober ever since, one day at a time.

The first few years I went to many, many meetings around the holidays to get through it. I had to stay away from people, places and things that were potential triggers. This included my family, unfortunately as they were completely unsupportive. Eventually I got to a place where I was more comfortable in my skin and it wasn’t such an issue any more.

I give full credit to 12 step principles and the Christian faith I came to a few years later for alleviating the worst of my depression. I do still have to deal with it but today I have the tools to manage it.

My regular readers know that in the fall of 2010 I was diagnosed with cervical dystonia. I was in excruciating pain for months and months until my exercises and Botox started to help. It is a horribly depressing condition. I was on the couch with kids who needed Mom. I couldn’t get the Christmas tree up; I could only watch from the couch. To my alarm as I researched dystonia it seemed that many people who got it went through a period of drinking to deal with it.

It’s three years later and after a long, tough fight I am more functional and I was actually able to do much of the tree decorating this year. Still, I have limitations and I’m still prone to depression. I’m on a three month cycle of Xeomin injections and due for shots next week…right in the heart of Christmas season.

How To Survive Holiday Depression and Disability

Keep the Faith

Practice the spiritual tradition that makes sense to you right now, but remain open. For example, I didn’t grow up observing Advent but I’ve come to love it as an adult. Advent readings beckon me to slip away and draw near to Jesus.x.who frequently had to slip away from crowds Himself to pray to the Father. I also use the Divine Hours to make that time in the day to turn from earthly cares.

Resist the urge to overindulge

It’s so easy to try to numb yourself with holiday indulgences, but the price you’ll have to pay isn’t worth it. As much as you can, try to keep your usual nutritional plan and exercise routines going.

Making time for fellowship

As a special needs mom who is disabled herself, I have found that friendships have really changed since my diagnosis. The reality for families like ours is that we are just too much trouble to be around for a lot of people. Still, we can find time to meet a friend for coffee, go to church and go to a few community celebrations.

Exercise

There is nothing like movement to lift the spirit. Combining worship and movement can really give you a boost.

Acceptance

Accept what you can do for today and let the rest go. I can’t do everything I used to do and I’ve learned I can’t be that super perfect mom for Christmas. And that’s okay. My kids aren’t going to remember how many holiday activities I dragged them around to. They will remember the time I spent with them. Things like watching Christmas shows, baking cookies, reading or taking a walk.

Keep it simple

I don’t do a ton of decorating. A tree, stockings, the nativity and maybe a few lights and touches around the house are just enough for me.

Shop online

As the crowds, business and crazy drivers intensify in December, I am grateful to be able to just sit at the computer in my yoga pants, cup of tea in hand and browse to my hearts content instead of struggling with with my chronic pain and physical limitations in the store.

If you’re struggling with depression this holiday season, know that you are not alone and there are people who care. If the feelings are intense, and other strategies aren’t working, don’t feel guilty about seeing a doctor.

Bible Verses for Depression

Psalms 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Isaiah 49:16 I will not forget you…Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of My hands…

May the peace and comfort of our Lord be with you this holiday season!

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Infinity Lotion Review

September 1, 2017 by Marya Leave a Comment

Discloser: I was given this product as part of a product review through the Chronic Illness Bloggers network. Although the product was a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in no way influenced by the company. – Marya

Since I got diagnosed with cervical dystonia in 2010, I’ve slathered creams and balms of all sorts onto my cranky trapezius muscle in hopes of finding some natural relief for the chronic pain. Not only that, I have some struggles with chronic knee and lower back pain. I try to avoid traditional over the counter and pharmaceuticals as much as I can. After reading the positive reviews about Infinity Lotion from Liberty Lotion, I was excited to try it out.

About CBD

CBD is also known as cannabidiol, which is the isolated compounds found within the cannabis sativa plant. Numerous scientific studies support the claims that CBD can act as a potent anti-inflammatory. reducing inflammation throughout the body. Liberty Lotion products are completely legal in all 50 states.

As the population gets older and people get more and more frustrated with traditional pharmaceutical offerings, more are turning to alternative health remedies such as CBD products to find natural relief from health conditions such as anxiety, chronic pain and inflammation. It’s said that CBD products have tremendous potential to help improve many lives.

About Infinity Lotion

Infinity Lotion is a combination of Liberty & Limitless. Infinity Lotion contains 600mg isolate CBD per bottle, and contains contains 3x CBD per ounce as compared to Liberty Lotion. Infinity Lotion also contains all of the powerful cannabimimetic ingredients found in Limitless Lotion, with nearly 2x the Boswellia Serrata per ounce as compared to Limitless Lotion.

Additionally, Infinity Lotion contains Moringa Oil, which scientific research has shown have a synergistic effect when combined with CBD. Liberty Lixir’s Moringa Oil is sustainably grown on a certified organic farm in Ecuador. As Infinity Lotion combines transdermal absorption with impressively high doses of CBD and cannabimimetics, plus the addition of the Moringa Oil, Infinity Lotion is an excellent choice for chronic pain sufferers.

My Experience

When combined with the other modalities I use to manage the chronic pain from dystonia including CBD tincture, medical cannabis and yoga, I feel the lotion was effective. But then my knee started acting up and I tried it there as well as my lower back and I definitely felt some relief. Infinity Lotion comes in a glass bottle, so do be careful with it. I did find the pump a little awkward to use..I kept forgetting the squirter was at the very top and I sent the lotion flying a few times. But then again I can be a klutz! Liberty Lotion smells great and goes on without being too greasy. It is pricey, but if you’re struggling with debilitating pain from arthritis or any kind of degenerative pain I’d definitely recommend it.

If you use my coupon code chronicmomlife you’ll get 10% off your purchase. Shipping is free. Liberty Lotion has a number of products, including Liberty Lixir which I recently reviewed here.

Buy Now

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How A Bullet Journal Helps Mental Health

August 7, 2017 by Marya 9 Comments

I started bullet journaling a while back and found an unexpected benefit: it helps my mental health. This is in spite of the fact that many of my pages are a scribbly mess. My ruler slips, I smear the ink pad, I lose track of the dots and sometimes stamp upside down. I’m still deciding on which spreads work best for me. Also my handwriting is sloppy. (Though if I were to slow down and write more mindfully that would probably help.)

It sounds kind of chaotic, but really it isn’t. For the first time in my life I’ve found a system that helps my mental health and actually works for my ADD addled mind. If I don’t have a spread for something that pops into my mind, I have designated “brain dump” pages where I record random thoughts. (This often happens during a yoga session!) This gives my mind a rest from trying to remember everything that dances across it on any given day.

Plus I’m actually getting stuff done. Getting the noise out of my head has greatly reduced my anxiety levels which trigger my dystonia and IBS symptoms (which typically happen at the same time.)

And one other thing…playing with paper, washi tape and pens makes me happy. It gives me something to focus on besides dystonia and chronic pain.

Now just today my rambling mind started to compute if the bullet journal of choice, a Leuchtturm costs about $20 and I have to get a new one every four or five months at the rate I’m going, isn’t that pricey compared to a regular planner? (If creating a bullet journal stresses you out, check out The Happy Planner. You can still do simple bullet journaling it and you can be as creative as you like.)

You do have to spend a few dollars on journaling supplies, but there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first, especially when your mental health is at stake. You could do it in a cheap notebook from Target but the sensory feeling of good paper does help.

How to Get Started With Bullet Journals

You can spend a lot of time reading all about using bullet journals and watch a ton of YouTube videos to get ideas. But you aren’t going to get a feel for what will work for you until you start to give journaling a try for yourself.

You can read my Beginner’s Guide to Simple Bullet Journals here!

It’s okay to start with an inexpensive notebook and just try it out. Follow the basic bullet journal layout with an index, a key and a monthly spread. Track your daily tasks and see how it feels. Add in a few lists or collections and get a feel for what type of information is useful to you and what isn’t. Try trackers and various other hacks you come across and determine what works for you.

Keep It Simple

When you first start out bullet journaling, you may be tempted to write down and track every single thing. You may have lots of ideas for collections. It’s okay to start out with a bang but if you can’t sustain it, you may wind up feeling like a failure. Don’t over commit and track too much! The bullet journal will just become One More Thing To Do. Remember it’s a tool for wellness. Start small and figure out what works and what will be sustainable for you to write down and track.

Don’t Be Afraid To Rip Pages Out

You’re not in school any more! If you find that something isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to rip it out. Maybe you thought that keeping a weekly reading collection was a good idea, but you couldn’t keep up with it?

Go ahead and rip out that page!

If your overall layout for your bullet journal isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to toss it and start over. This is exactly it can be a great idea to just start out with a small and inexpensive notebook. Get another one and begin again. With a little practice you’ll find what works for you.

Make Your Bullet Journal Work For YOU!

Expect to do some testing and tweaking, and changing stuff around until you come up with something that works well for you. We all lead different lives and our brains work differently. Our bullet journals should reflect that.

Keep working on it until you come up with a system that feels natural. You’ll know it when you get there. The end goal is to have a bullet journal setup that makes your live easier and helps you stay organized without feeling that writing in it is a chore.

For me, I ultimately went with a Happy Planner because I couldn’t keep up with the traditional bullet journal page layouts and I got stressed planning them out! My life is such that I need to know what’s going on in the coming weeks and months, track veterinary and self care, etc. At this busy season of my life, it’s easier to have the work done for me. I just use the grid format to bullet journal as before.

However you journal, when it comes to your mental health and self care, it pays to go the extra mile if you have to.

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