Marya

What It’s Like to Live With Ulcerative Colitis

Coming to terms with my recent ulcerative colitis diagnosis is a constant struggle. On my best days, I feel like I can handle anything but on the worst days when I’m flaring and the symptoms are at their worst, I feel demoralized, defeated and just want to stay in bed near the bathroom.

Right now my symptoms are all over the place. I don’t have the extreme bleeding, pain and weight loss that I did a year ago but I still struggle a lot with fatigue, nausea and incontinence. I try not to worry about the big meds and the big hospitalizations, but it’s hard not to think about that possibility when I connect with the online IBD community.

I have to trust that God is in charge of the big picture and if anything major happened that my son with special needs will be cared and provided for.

Staying Grateful

When life hands me lemons, I try to remember what I can be grateful for, starting with the unconditional love and support I receive from my husband and kids. I’m also really grateful that healthy shopping options have bloomed in my area and I don’t have to drive more than ten miles to get the nutritious foods I rely on for the Specific Carbohydrate Diet such as almond flour, medjool dates, free range chicken and eggs, bananas and peanut butter. Seriously, these are my 5 major food groups many days!

Thanks to social media, I know that I’m never alone.

These recent posts on HealthCentral reminded me to never give up and never stop fighting.

Things can and do get better. I suffered for years and I never thought I would get to a point where my day-to-day life wasn’t unbearably painful. Yet here I am, in remission, thanks to my hospital and medication. Keep fighting and trying different things to improve your health, as one thing that might not work for someone else could work for you!”

— Rebecca Allan, UC patient since 2016

“Every minute, every hour, every day that passes brings you closer to your goal. Closer to healing. Closer to living. Stay strong, fight hard, and look forward to tomorrow! Your journey starts with the first step. Be brave. Keep moving.”

— Sarah Henning, UC patient since 2007

It’s a daily battle for me to stay positive and not get bogged down with anxiety, worry and negative thinking.

One of my favorite stories that I go back to time and again is the old Cherokee story about two wolves.

One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “my son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The grandson though about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “the one that you feed.”

“Don’t feed the bad wolf” has become an important mantra in managing my mental health. Every day I have a choice to do things that feed my spirit, to eat the right foods and guard my energy output.

One day at a time I can keep putting my best foot forward and showing up for life.

Summer Activities for Kids With Special Needs

No sooner do holiday decorations get put away in January then special needs parents start to think about the long summer break and how they’re going to keep their kids busy all summer. Here in Florida the heat is stifling during the summer and since my son is heat sensitive, he has to be closely monitored outside.

For us, break starts at the beginning of June and the kids go back to school the third week of August. As a disabled mom, this presents a number of challenges since it’s hard for me to take him to places like the beach (45 miles away). Closer attractions like Busch Gardens and water parks are within driving distance but I can’t go there alone with him. And since we live in a rural subdivision, we don’t have a community pool.

Here’s a few summer activities I came up with:

Summer Activities for Kids With Special Needs

*YMCA – We can always go swimming there and our branch has some adaptive activities going on throughout the year.

*Camp – While the cost can be high, it can be made more affordable by investigating various scholarship options either from the camp itself, your local disability group or a community service organization.

*ESY – Extended School Year Services – This is no longer an option for us but since services vary from state to state (and county to county) it may be worthwhile to check out if your child qualifies.

*Movies – Our local theater offers free showings a couple of mornings a week for kids during the summer.

*The mall – Need to escape the heat? Go during the week when it’s less crowded. Grab something from Starbucks or ice cream, visit an Apple store (if you have one) or get a quick massage at Brookstone.

*Your local craft or home improvement store – Stores like Michael’s and Lowes often offer classes for kids.

*Theraputic Horseback Riding – See if any riding facilities are available in your area.

*Stay at home fun – This doesn’t have to be complicated. Let your child built a fort in the living room or lanai. Outdoor fun can be as simple as a kiddy pool, a hose or helping to wash the car. Try some new crafts that you may not have had time for during the year.

*Call a friend from school – Did your child have a buddy at school last year? They’re probably missing each other by now. Call the parents up and see if you can get together!

*Network with other families – If you don’t have a support group, consider starting a meet up with like minded families so you can get out of the house. You can set up dates for swimming and go out for ice cream or other social activities. Maybe you can even organize a much needed mom’s morning (or evening) out!

*Visit your local library – Besides books and movies, many library branches offer summer activities for kids.

*Intergenerational events – If you belong to a faith community, chances are there are some senior people who would love the chance to make a difference in the lives of our kids. Consider hosting neighborhood fellowship dinner or movie nights.

Homeschooling Your Child With Special Needs

This doesn’t have to be scary or stressful. It can be as simple as “unschooling” using some of the activities I mentioned above. Pick a couple of goals to work on – maybe practice reading with flashcards or review physical, speech or fine motor goals.

Here’s a few resources to consider:

Time for Learning

Five in a Row (This is the homeschooling program I used with my older kids. You’d probably have to adapt the lessons for your child but the books selections are so wonderful that they will be a great experience for both of you.

The Importance of Self Care for Special Needs Moms

In the eternal quest to keep our kids busy and learning, it’s all to easy to run ourselves into the ground. During the school year we’re busy enough with school, appointments and extracurricular activities. It’s perfectly okay for both of you to have some down time. You need that time of restoration and rest.

Special needs parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. When you properly pace yourself you’ll be able to move through the next leg of your journey with renewed strength and vitality.

This doesn’t necessarily mean a mani/pedi or a massage (though it would be nice!) It can be as simple as some gentle exercise every day, reading a book that you haven’t had time to get to, doing something creative or starting a meditation practice.

I’ve written extensively about the importance of self care for moms.

5 Easy Breathing Techniques to Reduce Anxiety

How to Journal for Stress Relief

How to Practice Meditation for Stress and Anxiety

How to Improve Your Health With a Social Media Detox

The Amazing Health Benefits of Mindful Coloring

Summer Bible Study Ideas

Why Self Care Isn’t Selfish

What kinds of summer activities do you enjoy with your kids?

SaveSave

Why Does God Allow Disability to Happen?

Walking down the street, Jesus saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked, “Rabbi, who sinned: this man or his parents, causing him to be born blind?” Jesus said, “You’re asking the wrong question. You’re looking for someone to blame. There is no such cause-effect here. Look instead for what God can do. John 9:1-3 from The Message

Unfortunately some Christians think that that every illness or disability must be the result of a lack of faith or sin in a person’s life. What a discouraging burden to put on someone who’s already struggling!

We don’t become disabled because we’re being punished for something. Neither are we defective because even in our disability, we’re fearfully and wonderfully made and God has a plan and a purpose for our lives.

I don’t like living with chronic illness, pain or suffering. I’d take the healing in a minute. But I’ve come to the place that God allows suffering for His purpose. I’ve learned many life lessons as a special needs mom and as a person with a disability. It’s taught me to be patient and to persevere. It’s deepened my prayer life. And it has given me a deeper compassion for the marginalized in our society which is also the heart of God.

Being disabled with dystonia and ulcerative colitis has also forced me to accept my limits and not be so self sufficient which in all honesty, I hate. I don’t want to need anybody or ask for help, but when I became incapacitated for a time there wasn’t much choice but to learn to rest in God’s care and provision.

God can use any and every illness or disability to bring glory to His name. At times He may do that through a physical healing but sometimes He works in the situation by giving you the supernatural strength to persevere to keep on going even when you’re struggling with chronic illness or disability.

I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations…At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Excerpt from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 The Message

Living with disability is so hard. I have days where I’m functioning relatively well and other days where I’m leveled. It’s depressing and lonely at times. But God has been my strength throughout my disability journey and He has always been faithful to provide.

Speaking from my experience as a special needs mom, we’ve been blessed to meet so many amazing people who are on the journey with us and those who come along aside to minister to families like ours. My son has become my greatest spiritual teacher. Of course some days are still difficult. Having a disability like ulcerative colitis which demands that I locate a bathroom within 5 minutes of feeling the urge makes taking my son out to be very challenging, especially now that he’s an adult.

I’ll never know this side of heaven why I had to experience disability on top of the demands of being a special needs mom. I feel very helpless at times, but I know that He will be with me on the path as I continue on this journey. All I have to do is remember to abide in Him, and to continue in prayer and meditation to seek His will for my life.

God, this is hard to ask but let me rejoice in illness and in disability, even as I pray for healing and practice self care, for I know the plans You have for me are good. Use my disability to bring You glory in all I do. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

SaveSave

21 Bible Verses for Coping With Chronic Illness

Many times in my life I’ve felt like I was on the sidelines watching my family go out without me because I was too sick or in two much pain to leave the house. Then stupidly checking into social media, I’d see more families having outings that were completely off limits to me. That of course made me feel even worse! I’m slowly earning that the best thing to do when I’m struggling to cope with chronic illness is to spend some time with some Bible verses before I look at social media.

I never cried out to God about it when I was feeling like this. I would just sink into myself and become depressed about it. It’s probably the worst thing I could have done! One of the hardest things that anyone can go through is a debilitating chronic illness. Many times, these illnesses are mysterious, come on suddenly and have no end in sight. While I was lucky enough to get diagnosed right away, others go from doctor to doctor for years without ever finding out what’s wrong.

It’s easier to go through a trial when you think that it will have an ending date. For example, if you’ve ever had a bad flu you know that sooner or later it’s going to pass. That hope keeps you going in spite of your current misery.

But when you live with chronic illness, you don’t have the comfort and assurance that it’s going to end, at least not on this side of heaven. Instead, you’re faced with the overwhelming prospect that you might be facing physical suffering for years, or even for the rest of your life.

And that’s just the physical and emotional side! If you’re a spiritual person, you might be wondering where God is in all of this, and if He’s abandoned you. You might think you’re being punished for something you did. You might wonder if you have enough faith to deal with all of this.

All of these reactions are completely normal. What you’re experiencing is grief. Grief is simply the pain that we encounter when we lose something. For many of us, it’s not just our lost health. It’s also feeling like you’re missing out on life. One of the challenges of living with chronic illness is staying spiritually and emotionally strong when you feel awful all of the time. You might feel like you start with an empty gas tank every day.

Some Christians believe they should put on their bootstraps and tough it out when they’re dealing with a chronic illness. This is never productive! Instead of trying to bury these feelings, take some daily time to go into God’s presence and share your emotions with Him.

One of the ways that I personally stay encouraged and keep myself from slipping into depression is by spending some intentional time reading the Bible every day. I’m currently following the She Reads Truth and Bible in One Year plans.

Is it a lot of reading? Yes, but it’s a much better use of my time than scrolling social media! Using the audio on YouVersion, with Max McLean reading the NIV version has really helped me to stay focused.

I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite Bible verses that help me cope with chronic illness as well as the depression and anxiety that go along with it.

Bible Verses for Coping With Chronic Illness

Abandonment

Hebrews 13:5b “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

John 14:18 “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

Romans 8:38-39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Depression

Psalms 40:1-3 I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD.

Psalms 32:10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.

Psalms 42:11 Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

Anxiety

Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. ⁶In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Psalms 94:19 When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.

Hope

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Psalm 50:10-11 “For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills. I know all the birds of the hills, and all that moves in the field is mine.”

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

Calm

Isaiah 43:2 “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.”

John 14:1 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.”

Psalm 107:29-30 “He made the storm be still and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven.”

Comfort

John 14:1-3 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also…”

Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Psalms 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

The Power of Prayer

James 5:14-16 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God, that if we ask anything according to His will, he hears us.

1 Chronicles 16:11 Look to the Lord and His strength, seek His face always.

How to Create a Medical Binder

Using a personal health care binder can be a huge mental health boost. First, it can help you to stay organized in your personal and professional life. Having a place to write down to do lists and other things that you’re tracking is a big stress reducer.

Health care binders can also be very useful for women with chronic illness who have even more things to keep track of like lab work and other test results, tracking symptoms, food intake, bowel movements, specialists, bills and prescriptions.

Even with all I have going on with my own diagnoses which include IBD, cervical dystonia and chronic fatigue, I’ve never gotten myself organized like I should. And not only that, I’m a special needs mom. My youngest son has Down Syndrome and is a heart patient. There is LOTS to keep track of and we all know how important it is to document everything. And as I get older, I know I can’t rely on memory for everything!

I’m really looking forward to FINALLY getting my health care organizational act together once and for all. Having everything organized and in one place is an enormous time and stress saver. Health isn’t just about your physical health, but mental and emotional health as well. Planners offer many mental health benefits, from reducing stress to diminishing anxiety. As you get organized with important information organized and planned out, you’ll feel so much better and have more time for your own self care.

If you’re reading this, you probably know the drill every time you have an appointment with a provider. Endless forms and wracking your brain trying to remember your health history, surgeries, medications, provider names, insurance information, etc.

I’ve created a starter set of medical binder printables that you can use to create your own medical binder that you can refer to with confidence. Even on your worst days, what a relief to have this important information at your finger tips!

Included in the medical binder starter printable set are forms for:

*Medical Contacts
*Medical History
*Family Medical Overview
*Family Doctors
*Medical Checkup History
*Blood Pressure Tracker
*Blood Sugar Tracker
*Medication Tracker
*Surgery History
*Immunizations
*Doctor Visit Logs
*Exam Tracker
*Illness Tracker
*Symptoms Tracker
*Dental Visits
*Medical Expenses
*Yearly Health Tracker

There are several variations to some of the forms, just pick out what works best for you and print out as many as you need.

Recommended Supplies for Your Medical Binder

Here’s some supplies available on Amazon so that you can get started right away!

This blog uses Amazon Affiliate links.

Need a Convenient Medical Records Journal?

I’ve created this softcover medical journal that you can take with you to appointments.

Medical Journals for Pediatric Patients

5 Warning Signs of a Heart Attack in Women

A couple of years ago I lost a dear friend and long time mentor due to a sudden heart attack at the relatively young age of 57. Carrie Fisher passed away from a heart attack in 2016 at 60. This is frightening and eye-opening for me. As a special needs mom, I want to be here for my children as long as I can. It’s really important that we all understand warning signs of a heart attack in women.

Would you know if you were having a heart attack?

As women, many of us live a daily juggling act of working, caregiving and other responsibilities, resulting in stress that can damage the heart and its blood vessels. Some women may have existing damage from years of drug use. Special needs moms might be more vulnerable to heart problems due to the ongoing stress of caregiving, advocacy and not having enough time for self care.

Chronic illness patients might be at risk due to their condition or possibly the meds that they need to take to manage their condition.

Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, and this blog post doesn’t constitute medical advice. This is some general information about symptoms of heart attacks in women you should be aware of, and how the symptoms in women can differ from those in men.

What are the warning signs of a heart attack in women?

Although women can present with these typical signs and symptoms of a heart attack, there is a danger of being misdiagnosed upon arriving to the emergency room. They might even be told they’re having just having an anxiety attack! This might be because women are more likely than men to have complaints of other symptoms that are not chest-pain related. Women’s heart attack symptoms are more vague, and less clear-cut.

Like men, a woman’s most common complaint that signals a heart attack is chest pain or discomfort. In women, this pain can be anywhere in the chest, not just on the left side.

Pain in the back or jaw, arms or neck. You may notice that the pain comes and goes, and varies in intensity. It may be severe enough to wake you up at night. If you are experiencing any pain from the waist up that is unusual for you, be sure to consult a physician right away.
Pain or pressure in the stomach, nausea, and/or vomiting. This kind of pain or pressure can often be confused with reflux (heartburn) and ulcers that are not relieved with antacids, so be sure to get it checked out if it is not getting better. The pressure may even feel like someone is sitting on top of you, squeezing the air out of you.
Breaking out in cold sweats. This kind of sweating is common in women experiencing heart attacks. It is not related to menopausal hot flashes, and is not exercise related.
Extreme fatigue and exhaustion. When it feels like a chore to do even the simplest of tasks, keep in mind that you could be having a heart attack. Often, it is described as a feeling of fatigue that never seems to go away.
Lightheadedness, and/or shortness of breath. You may find that you are having trouble breathing for no reason, even when just staying still or walking. You may feel like you have just exercised, and you have not. Again, seek immediate help. (You may also have asthma. I didn’t get diagnosed myself until my 50s.)

Do only older women have heart attacks?

No! Women can have heart attacks before they are forty years old, particularly those with certain risk factors including:

*Ongoing stress
*Being overweight
*Smoking
*Use of birth control pills in high-risk individuals
*Uncontrolled diabetes
*Lack of exercise

The Importance of Self Care for Cardiovascular Health

It’s a well known fact that self care and proper stress management is essential for optimal cardiovascular health. If you’re constantly burning the candle at both ends without eating well or exercising, you are putting yourself at risk for a cardiac event. No matter how busy your lifestyle is, you can work in some intentional time for self care.

In conclusion, even if you are not experiencing chest pain, listen to your instinct. If something seems wrong, get it checked out right away. And remember that what you are experiencing could be misdiagnosed, so be sure to ask questions and be your own best advocate. Don’t be afraid to keep pushing.

For more information, please visit The American Heart Association.

This blog uses Amazon affiliate links.

How to Get Started With Yoga for Chronic Pain

Yoga is the oldest existing physical culture system in the world. Not only is it a systematic and scientifically proven path to attaining physical fitness, it can also delay aging, rejuvenate your mind and spirit, improve your appearance, maintain joint fluidity and can increase overall vitality and creativity. Not only that, yoga can also help to relieve chronic pain.

When I got diagnosed with cervical dystonia in 2010, I quickly became disabled with horrible chronic pain in my neck and upper back. I spent close to a year on the couch much of the time. Even simple tasks like making breakfast became overwhelming.

After awhile I began practicing chair yoga, moved on to neck and yoga postures, and as I improved, on to whole body yoga. Am I cured of dystonia? No. It’s one day at a time but yoga has greatly reduce the need for pain management medications.

Yoga for Stress Relief

I don’t have to tell you how fast-paced and easily distracted our world is. When not in the car, people are sitting behind their desks all day, whether at home or in the office. They’re hunched over their phones. Many come home and crash in front of the computer. It seems easier to sustain an unhealthy lifestyle with processed food and inadequate movement than to put the effort into healthier lifestyle habits.

When we don’t put healthy habits first, we can become more susceptible to chronic pain and chronic illness. I’m convinced this is part of what happened to me. When the day finally came that I was really struggling, I started looking for answers and became willing to change.

The Benefits of Yoga For Chronic Pain

Like me, many people are looking for natural health alternatives for chronic pain. Traditional pain medications and muscle relaxers, while necessary for some, have side effects and run the risk of addiction. Yoga is an ancient practice combining meditation and exercise which have a deep and long lasting effect on the mind and body. Yoga regulates breathing and increases metabolism, aids in weight loss, relieves stress and reduces depression and can also help in pain relief and management.

The best thing about yoga is that it can be practiced anywhere and anytime. And remember, it doesn’t even have to be a full practice. Think about taking short movement breaks. You can do some of them in bed, your home office or even in your cramped workspace if you know the right exercises.

Christians and Yoga

The Christian viewpoint of yoga I’ve always heard was that if you open your mind to clearer thinking and inner vision, you’re opening the spirit to demonic possession. It’s often taught that yoga practices borders on occultism, and that opening your mind and spirit to the health benefits of yoga is dangerous and against everything Christianity preaches.

My personal conviction is that Romans 14 addresses this argument.

^13-14Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.

For me, yoga is primarily healthy movement. It benefits me spiritually by calming down the noise in my head and reducing anxiety so that I can actually focus on prayer and meditation, which helps me to meet Jesus right on the mat. Think about it…the God who created everything and everyone can be anywhere He wants. The Holy Spirit moves like the wind and He will come when his beloved daughters cry out to him.

For the Spirit-wind blows as it chooses. You can hear its sound, but you don’t know where it came from or where it’s going. So it is within the hearts of those who are Spirit-born!” John 3:3-8, TPT

^FI’m familiar with the argument “just stretch on your own.” This doesn’t really work for me as I’m just not creative enough to come up with my own beneficial stretches to benefit my physical challenges. I need the wisdom of restorative and yin teachers to help me find the movement that’s best for me.

As with anything else, to thine own self be true. If there’s any compelling reason that you need to stay away from yoga, then do so.

How to Get Started With Yoga for Chronic Pain Management

In yoga you can find a huge variety of practices and teaching styles. If you don’t care for mysticism, be assured that most of what is taught in a typical gym setting is going to be more health oriented. Or you can always look around on YouTube to get started with an at home practice. My YouTube recommendations are Yoga With Adriene and Sleepy Santosha for women living with chronic illness and Caroline Williams Yoga for those desiring a Christian yoga practice.

When getting started, just begin with a simple intention, meditation or spiritual prose. Find something to focus on and begin to practice some simple breath work. This will ease your mind and body and prepare it for the exercises ahead. Remember to be slow and steady with your movements.

If you’re checking out a yoga studio, look at their social media accounts to get a feel for where they’re coming from. Power yoga is very popular but can be too rough for people with chronic illness or chronic pain conditions. No matter which you choose, it’s really important to get proper cuing, guidance and adaptive assistance as you move through asanas.

Remember you must know your own body and its limitations. If you have back problems, you will want to check what’s safe for your condition with your doctor or do some online research about your condition.

This blog post should not be construed as medical advice. I’m not a doctor or a yoga teacher, just a yoga enthusiast and yoga teacher in training who has suffered with the debilitating neurological condition dystonia since 2010 and ulcerative colitis since 2018. Yoga for natural chronic pain management has worked for me not as a cure, but as a tool to help manage the complexities of my condition.

SaveSave

How to Cope with Mommy Guilt and Chronic Pain

I’ve been struggling with Mommy Guilt for years now. In our family, there’s always been the never ending doctor appointments for each of us, my chronic pain, fatigue and wondering if we should attempt any extracurricular activities. And on top of this, I have to make time for my own self care. It’s not an option any more. I’ve got to carve out the time for nutritious food and yoga or I’ll wind up on my back feeling like I’m of no use to any one.

Being a mom with chronic illness and pain is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to live with. The mommy guilt is never ending. It’s hard for me to watch the families around me who are able to participate or at least just get their kids to the plethora of supplemental activities in our area.

It’s harder still to watch the happy pictures on my social media feed of happy families who simply get to do life without lots of forethought. Just like I used do to before cervical dystonia entered my life as a very unwanted houseguest in 2010, and ulcerative colitis in 2018.

In our family we have been blessed that as a retiree with a pension, my husband has been able to take over much of the care for our son and get him where he needs to be. My cervical dystonia diagnosis has also meant getting off the long wait for social services in Florida to get much needed assistance, and I’m profoundly grateful for that. God has shown his provision for our family, without a doubt.

When I was homeschooling, the anxiety began as I considered the school year calendar. For awhile I needed to access the pool at my health club 2 or 3 times a week to calm my spasming muscles. I didn’t know how I was supposed to manage that at the end of the day when I was typically exhausted and out of spoons. And there were the church and small group activities…of course you have to show up to feel part of but how does that work when you’re constantly leveled with fatigue? And then there were the 12 step recovery meetings that I really needed more than anything but was unable to get to.

These days, I find a lot of recovery and chronic illness support online. I know that “in person” is always best but am not sure what the alternative is in this season of my life.

Right now I don’t know how it’s all going to come together. It is labor intensive for the rest of my family. I’m working on better time management practices and organization. I have to continually pace everything so that I don’t overtax myself. I plan around the reality that some days my IBD is going to flare or my muscles are going to be spasming so much I don’t want to get out of bed, much less leave the house.

Some Tips for Coping with Mommy Guilt and Chronic Pain

Spiritual Disciplines – My journey with chronic pain has really developed my interest in prayer, meditation and the spiritual disciplines. Years ago in recovery rooms I learned that we only have a daily reprieve from our disease based on our spiritual condition. Taking that daily time with God helps the day to flow better, and I’m learning to continuously work on practicing the presence of God and developing a habit of unceasing prayer.

Self care – As moms, we tend to put ourselves last. I did it for years. In hindsight, I think my lack of self care set the stage for my autoimmune problems. I’ve learned (a little late in life) that when chronic pain or illness is a part of our lives, we have to make that time for our own wellness a priority. Self care isn’t selfish. Simplify your life as much as you can to minimize stress. For example, use your crockpot or instant pot for an easy dinner and to save spoons at the end of the day. Have your kids help clean the house. If you need a pajama day, it’s perfectly okay. And take full advantage of the convenience of online shopping.

Find what you love and just do it – I blog because I like it. Writing is a great release for me and I’ve loved learning all the technical ins and outs of blogging. It’s empowering to know that my brain still works. I also love yoga. When I could do little else besides lay on the couch and read, yoga gave me my physical life back and something to strive for. For you it might be quilting, crocheting or gentle gardening. Whatever it is for you, it’s a great mental distraction from the dailiness of chronic pain.

Communication – Talk with your family about your condition and how it impacts you without making them feel guilty or overwhelming them. You’ll have children who are more sensitive and patient. That being said, it is hard to watch them sacrifice over and over again.

Let go of Mommy Guilt – You’re a good mom (preaching to myself here.) You are enough. Do the best you can. Embrace life’s little moments as they come to you no matter where you are. Whether you’re on the couch or out and about, your children love you no matter what and appreciate what you do for them.

How do you find balance as a mom who lives with chronic illness?

How to Get Moving to Manage Stress and Anxiety

We all know that physical exercise is an essential part of maintaining good health. However, exercise is also a great way to improve mental health. In fact, exercise is one of the best natural stress busters around. Getting in an intense workout to release tension and get those feel-good endorphins pumping through your body is a great way to manage stress and anxiety. But if you’re new to the idea of exercise and the idea of working out makes you cringe, I encourage you to give it a good try. Once you see how much a good workout can help to relieve stress, you’ll be far more motivated to make it an ongoing habit.

Is Exercise Good for Stress and Anxiety?

A good workout releases endorphins, which are chemicals in the brain that function as natural painkillers. Endorphins are an immediate mood booster and not only that, they also help you sleep better! A good night’s sleep will also reduce stress and improve anxiety. Exercise will energize and refresh your body, leaving you feeling great during your workout and afterwards. Feeling better all around will help to reduce the physiological and psychological symptoms of anxiety.

Anxiety can quickly consume your thoughts and without intervention, can lead to panic attacks.. Engaging in physical activity that you find both challenging and enjoyable is a great way to get distracted from obsessive, harmful thinking. You’re literally burning the anxiety away. While your body is working, your mind gets a rest as you focus on something else besides what you’re worrying about.

How to Choose the Right Workout For You

Now, you’ll want to be sure to pick an exercise that you enjoy and isn’t a chore, or it might make your anxiety even worse. We all look at the perfectly toned bodies on social media and think that we need to do CrossFit to achieve that level of fitness. If CrossFit is your thing, then go for it. But if you hate the very idea of it, you don’t have to do it. Find what you love and makes you feel good! It might be as simple as a walk, gardening, a swim in the pool, or some gentle yoga. Do you you can and don’t compare yourself others. Good exercise is simply about getting your heart pumping and your mind off worries.

You don’t need a gym membership or expensive equipment to get started. Give a boost to your everyday activities and you’ll feel much healthier. Anything that you do during the day can be an opportunity to strengthen your mind and body. Set a simple goal of more physical activity will help you to feel more accomplished and boost your confidence. These are both really beneficial at kicking anxiety to the curb, since most anxiety is rooted in inner conflict.

Walking Outside

A walk outside is one of the best things you can do for your physical and mental health. It helps promotes more neural activity in the brain. It is believed that blue skies help to relax the brain. The fresh air that the brain receives from outside promotes circulation, which can increase your cognitive abilities.

If you’re just starting out, put on a pair of sneakers and just go for a walk. Walking is a simple workout that’s accessible to most people. It’s low impact and you don’t need a lot of fancy equipment or special training to do it. Just get out there and do it. Start out with a simple stroll around the block after dinner. It can be as easy or as challenging as you want it to be. After a few weeks you’ll be up to longer walks, picking up the pace, or even tackling a small hill.

Health Benefits of Hiking

We could all stand to get outside more. Hiking is a fantastic cardio workout that can be adapted to any fitness level. It lowers your risk of heart disease, and can help to improve your blood sugar and blood pressure levels. Not only that, but as a weight bearing exercise it will boost bone density and increase strength in your core, glutes, quads, hamstrings and hips which are essential to optimum mobility as we age.

Yoga for Stress Relief

Yoga and meditation are enormously popular and with good reason. They help to heal and relax mind, body and spirit. A regular yoga practice will also help you to incorporate breathing exercises (pranayama) that you can use any time of the day. Breathing exercises are a fantastic way to reduce stress and anxiety and you can use them no matter where you are! When the body releases stress hormones, the parasympathetic nervous systems activatesm which results in rapid breathing. When you get your breathing under control, it will go a long way to alleviating stress and anxiety.

Yoga will also help you to feel more grounded and confident, which you can then take with you into every area of your life. Any yoga practice will help you to develop those important core muscles. Improving the core muscles will naturally give you better posture, which will help you to project confidence.

There’s lots of great free yoga on YouTube. These are a few of my favorites:

Sleepy Santosha (for chronic illness)

Caroline Williams (worried about Christian yoga? Read why I practice without guilt!)

Yoga With Adriene (fun!)

Yin Yoga with Kassandra (yin is one of the most relaxing forms of yoga you can do…check it out!)

Weight lifting

Weight lifting can increase the production of testosterone. This hormone is known to inhibit the production of cortisol and regulate hormonal levels. The body also releases a surge of endorphins during a vigorous exercise. Weight lifting tones and improves physique. This can also help to improve self confidence for many women. It’s particularly important for women as we age to keep our bones and connective tissue strong, so that we can continue with daily tasks of living.

You don’t have to go to the gym to incorporate weights into your life. I like to use light weights during walk aerobics and a resistance band. That helps me to stay relatively toned. Do I look like a CrossFitter? No…but that’s okay!

How to Stay Motivated to Exercise

As I mentioned earlier, the most important thing is to find something that you love and that is realistic to your lifestyle. Then, start to visualize the results that you want, like improved overall physical and mental health. Doing this will help to carry you through on the days that you struggle with the idea of getting yourself moving.

If you’re having a rough or busy day, remember that a little bit of movement is better than none. A simple stretches, a walk around the yard with your dogs or even parking a little further away from the store still count as healthy movement.

5 Easy Breathing Techniques to Reduce Anxiety

In the Nasty Health Dangers of Chronic Stress I talked about the effects of stress and knowing the warning signs that you’re on stress overload. As you learn to recognize the signs that you’re feeling stressed out, one great tool to have in your arsenal are easy breathing techniques to reduce anxiety.

This doesn’t have to be complicated, and it can be as simple as taking a deep breath.

Hold on to this thought…the simple act of taking a few deliberate and slow breaths can help to reduce your stress levels dramatically. Easy breathing techniques are relaxing, supply the body with plenty of fresh oxygen, and relieve any tension you may have built up.

There’s lots of different ways to practice easy breathing techniques to reduce anxiety, relax and release that awful feeling of stress.

One of my favorite things to do when I’m feeling stressed out and life feels like it’s just too much is to go outside for a quick walk. For me, this usually looks like walking around my big yard with my dogs a few times. It doesn’t even have to be long, 10 minutes at a time a few times a day is so beneficial. It releases tension, and is relaxation and rejuvenating.

You might think if it’s dragging you away from your desk that it’s a waste of time, but give it a try. Being inside or sitting at a computer for hours is incredibly draining. You’ll come back inside with more energy and a much clearer mind. You’ll get that time back and then some!

4-7-8 Breathing Technique

One of the many problems with stress is that it gives us a really short fuse. And that makes it harder to be kind and patient with those closes to us! Letting that anger out is rarely helpful. Instead, walk away and practice the 4-7-8 breathing technique. It’s really pretty simple!

Breathe in for 4 seconds.
Hold your breathe for 7 seconds.
Exhale for 8 seconds.
Repeat once or twice.

It may not seem like much, but you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel! While it may not do much to treat chronic stress in the long run, it is a quick distraction for your mind and an effective strategy to calm down quickly.

Try a Breathing Meditation

Breathing meditation techniques are very beneficial to know. They’re a very effective treatment to reduce anxiety and stress. Not only that, but they’re easy to do and you can do them anywhere…while waiting in your car, at the office, or standing in line anywhere. The basic idea is to take a few minutes to sit (or stand) quietly, with your eyes closed (if practical) focusing your mind only on your breath. Feel the air flowing in and out of your nose and try not to think of about anything else.

It’s very effective breathing technique once you get the hang of it. It does take practice, but do give it a try.

Deep Abdominal Breathing

Get in a quiet place, place your hands on your abdomen. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Try to completely expel the air.

Alternate nostril breathing

While sitting on the floor is optimal, you can also do this in the car.

Place the thumb of your right hand on your right nostril and press firmly. Take in a breathe through your left nostril.
Place the ring finger of your right hand on your left nostril and press firmly. Remove your right thumb from your right nostril and slowly breathe out.

Equal breathing

Sit in a comfortable position, either at your desk or on the floor with your spine straight. Breathe in and out for equal counts, ranging from 1-4. Once you’re comfortable, you might try it for a bit longer.

Daily Breath Awareness

Schedule a 5 minute breath awareness during a quiet time of the day. Turn everything off, tune out and just focus on your natural breathing pattern. You can even do this in 1 minute breaks if that’s all you’ve got. Being conscious of your breathing will reduce anxiety, soothe emotions and even boost your energy.

Breathing exercises of any time will help to sooth frazzled nervous symptoms. I hope you’ll give these techniques a try!

SaveSave